Hi friends,
Today, I want to share a small experience that made me think deeply about parents, grandparents, and the way we speak to children.
It may seem like a simple incident, but I believe these little moments can leave a big impact on a child.
Let me tell you what happened.
My son was participating in a competition at school, and for it, he had to dress differently from his usual clothes. When he saw himself dressed up, he said, “I look funny. I don't want to go by bus.” I understood that he was feeling nervous and uncomfortable. I explained to him, “It's okay to look different. You are dressing up for a reason, and you should be proud enough to go and perform. If someone makes a comment about your clothes, just ignore it. Remember, being different takes courage.” After convincing him, I dropped him at the bus stop. There, I met a grandfather of one of the students. He looked at my son and casually said something like, “What are you wearing? What are you going to be? "I know he didn't mean any harm. It was probably just a casual comment or curiosity. But I immediately realized something.
My son was already nervous about his appearance. What if that one comment made him even more uncomfortable?
So I quietly signaled to him not to comment further. He asked me why, and I politely explained that my son was already nervous about his dressing and that instead of making comments, we should motivate him. A few days earlier, his granddaughter had come to school wearing a saree. I had complimented her and told her how beautiful she looked in that attire. It actually brought back a little nostalgia for me too.
And that made me think…
We often tell children, “Don't listen to what people say.”
But are we careful about what we say to them?
When we were children, many of us heard casual comments from adults and simply laughed them off. Maybe we didn't think too much about them. But times have changed. Today's children are more aware. They understand conversations, expressions, comparisons, and even jokes much more deeply than we sometimes realize. A comment that seems harmless to us may stay in a child's mind for a long time. And honestly, this experience made me look at myself too. As a mother, I sometimes lose my patience. I may yell when my son doesn't listen, or when he is crying, throwing a tantrum, or repeatedly doing something I have asked him not to do.
But is shouting always the solution?
Maybe sometimes children don't need another lecture. Maybe they simply need a hug.
Maybe they need some space. Maybe they need us to sit quietly beside them. And sometimes, they simply need us to stay silent. We always tell children, “Stay quiet. Don't answer back. Don't make comments.” But perhaps we, as adults, also need to learn the same lesson.
Silence doesn't always mean ignoring a child. Sometimes, silence means giving them the space to feel, understand, and calm down.
And when we do speak, our words should build them—not break their confidence.
Grandparents, too, play such an important role in a child's life. I truly believe that most of their comments come from love, affection, or simply the way they have always communicated.
But generations have changed.
Children have changed.
And perhaps our way of communicating with them needs to change too. So before we make a comment about a child's clothes, appearance, behavior, marks, body, or anything else, let's pause for a moment and ask ourselves:
“Will my words encourage this child, or will they make the child feel small?”
Because children may forget what we bought for them. They may even forget what we taught them. But they may remember how we made them feel. This little experience reminded me that parenting is not just about teaching our children.
It is also about learning from them—and becoming better ourselves.
What do you think?
Have you ever noticed how a simple comment from an adult affected a child?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
Thank you for reading. ❤️
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