Yes, I want this blog to be read by girls—because I feel only we can truly understand what I’m trying to say. And maybe, just maybe, this will make you stop for a moment and look at your own reality. Our society is divided into men and women. That’s the way the world has always been. And then, through marriage, we are told that these two people will come together and build a life. But is marriage really just about two people? Especially in our country, marriage often means two families, their expectations, their opinions, their traditions, and sometimes even their rules becoming a part of that relationship.
And somewhere in all of this, where is the girl?
- Before marriage, she is often told what she can and cannot do by her parents.
- After marriage, there may be a new set of expectations from her husband and in-laws.
So when does she actually get to live life on her own terms?
I’m asking this because I’ve started questioning it myself. If I talk about me, I’ve always been someone who feels more comfortable when I have someone beside me. I want someone to support me, guide me, or simply hold my hand when things get difficult. But lately, I’ve understood something uncomfortable:
At the end of the day, you have to learn to stand on your own.
People may love you. They may care about you. They may support you. But they cannot always stand beside you in every decision, every struggle, or every phase of your life. And this is where I feel we sometimes live in a beautiful dream. We believe our friends, family, husband or loved ones will always say,
“Yes, you are right. I’m with you.”
- But what happens when your decision doesn’t match what they expect from you?
- What happens when you say, “I don’t want to adjust this time”?
- What happens when you choose yourself?
Sometimes, instead of support, we hear:
- “You have to adjust.”
- “Think about the family.”
- “What will people say?”
- “This is not how things work.”
And slowly, we start doubting ourselves.
- Maybe we were wrong.
- Maybe our expectations were too much.
- Maybe we should just compromise one more time.
But girls, how many times are we going to compromise with ourselves?
I’m not saying that family, marriage or relationships don’t matter. They absolutely do. But we matter too. Being independent doesn’t always mean earning money or living separately. Sometimes independence simply means having the courage to say:
- “This is what I want.”
- “This is what I believe.”
- “This is not okay with me.”
And most importantly—
“I can love you and still choose myself.”
I know I’m sounding a little rude and maybe even negative today. But I don’t want to make this blog sugar-coated. I want to talk about the uncomfortable reality that many of us experience but rarely say out loud. Maybe we have misunderstood what “having people in our lives” really means. Having people around you doesn’t guarantee that they will agree with you. Loving someone doesn’t mean they will always understand your choices. And having a family doesn’t mean you should lose yourself to keep everyone happy. So today, I want to ask you, girls:
Are you actually living your life on your own terms?
- Can you take a stand for yourself when nobody else agrees with you?
- Can you make a decision without constantly worrying about disappointing someone?
And if you are married—have you ever felt that you were expected to adjust more than others?
If you’re unmarried—what kind of life do you imagine for yourself after marriage?
And here’s the biggest question:
If everyone around you said “NO,” would you still have the courage to say “YES” to yourself?
I really want to know what you think. No judgement. No right or wrong answers.
Just girls talking honestly to girls. ❤️
So tell me in the comments—
Are we really living life on our own terms, or are we simply becoming experts at adjusting?
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